late turkey post

Lo siento for the absence. Been busy not using my brain.

We are back in Durango after a much anticipated week off.  It’s currently my planning period, and I dragged a chair over to a sun-drenched spot of the hallway to try to thaw out. It's warm here during the days, but it still gets into the 40's and 50's at night, and the buildings get really cold. So every spare moment I find, I grab some sunshine.


We left last Saturday, the 23rd and had a fairly quick travel day, for once. There were a few little mishaps, but everything turned out in our favor. I got super lucky, several times. For some reason, in Durango, they didn't check our bags all the way through to Dallas, because they said I didn't have permission to leave the country (wtf?), so I had to recheck them in Mexico City. Thankfully, they were wrong, but because I had to wait for my bags and recheck them, I was going to miss my flight.  Just as I was beginning to panic, a kindly, wrinkled gentleman grabbed my bags and hurried us to where we needed to go, printed out our boarding passes and then led us to the beginning of the line. I tipped him well, but not enough, because the man was priceless. And then, as we were boarding, I saw my Texas driver's license just sitting at the check-in stand, partying solo.  I have no idea how I lost it in the airport as I didn't even have to use it because we have our passports and resident cards. In a fairly shocked voice, I said, "Hey, that's mine!" and the airline agent replied, "Hey, take it!" Thankful.


Caden spent the whole week with Cory, in Forth Worth, and I was with Matt and his buddy, Frenchie, in Oklahoma for the end of their tour, and then in Arkansas, for Thanksgiving at Matt’s aunt Cheri’s house. She was a wonderful host and greeted us with hugs, presents, and wine for the frenchman and me. So. Much. Wine. Matt cooked the turkey and I think we were all pleasantly shocked surprised that it turned out as well as it did. I cooked everything else and but didn’t really manage to get many pictures to post.  Everything else, you ask? Five cheese mashed potatoes that are now a new favorite. Cornbread casserole. Cheesy broccoli and rice casserole. Rolls. A chocolate pie. You know. Good shit.

Sweetest woman ever with
the sweetest Elvis, ever

 It was a long and interesting road trip. Picture enough music and sound equipment for two people. Then picture three people, each with clothes and toiletries for a week. Now picture all of that stuffed into a golf cart.  Yeah.

The trip involved two pull-overs, but only one resulted in a ticket. Several casinos, shady road stops, hotels and lots of coffee.

The week was too short and I can’t say that I was ready to come back, but we did.  (With an entire suitcase stuffed with books for my kiddos!) I didn’t really get to hang much with my family and friends during this visit, other than the Saturday night when I got into town, when Brinda and Jerry and Stefani and Chris met up with us. That was a wonderful night, dripping in good music, belly laughs, and good company. I miss my friends.

I always have a book with me. Even at a bar.
Frenchie found this amusing.

There were several of you who I really hate that I missed, but I’ll be back in three weeks. This time we are flying into Houston and I’ll be around for two weeks, so if I missed you this time, email me or better yet, download the whatsapp app, and we’ll figure something out. I will more than likely have the use of my car and will be back and forth between Dallas and Houston. No real plans yet, other than Christmas Eve at my folk's. My brother will be in from Afghanistan with his family, so it should be a full house.

I can't forget to mention that Caden got to go back to Venus last week. He said that seeing our old house made him sad, but what made it better was that he got to spend the night with his best friend, Adam. He spent the rest of the week with Tanner and his beloved Mama (Jolene.) He had a blast. He was a trooper, getting on the plane Saturday morning. He managed to keep it together until the
plane took off, and then he crawled into my lap and cried his little self to sleep. I’m so torn. I want to make his life as happy as possible, and he is happy, for the most part, when he is here, but he isn’t shy about his loyalty and yearning to be back in Texas. I told him, though, that even when we are done here, it doesn’t necessarily mean we are going back to Texas. I'm actually resubmitting all my stuff back to the University of Washington today for early consideration for my master's program.  I didn’t get to visit Seattle/ Port Angeles this past summer and it’s starting to make me edgy. Time for a visit.
And maybe another tattoo.
Or two.

Drugs. Family. Life.

I have been quizzed excessively about my safety and life, here in Durango.  The media in the states clogs the internet with stories of drug wars, beheadings and mass graves. If you google my city, you will find an assortment of negative news articles from a few years ago, when things were particularly scary in this area. And while all that may be true, it doesn’t necessarily paint a picture of what life is really like, in the interior of Mexico. I don’t live in a border city, like Juarez.  I also don’t do drugs and don’t know people who do drugs. The best advice I’ve gotten from my Mexican and expat friends here is: if you don’t hang out with people who dabble in that particular lifestyle, it really wont affect you. And so far, so good.  I haven’t felt unsafe here, at all. I’ve felt uncomfortable, sure. I stand out. I’m the gringa. Ha, I’m the single mom gringa with tattoos and a nose ring. I get some stares, but as the days progress, they become fewer. Durango is considered a small town to the locals, and many are becoming accustomed to my and the sprite's presence.

I don’t think my life here is anything even remotely close to a true representation of the general life of a family in Mexico. I am coddled and spoiled, as much as I complain about my diamond shoes being too tight. My paid-for apartment is a dream compared to some of the homes I’ve seen here. And I use the term “home” loosely. I’m talking crumbling walls, dirt and concrete floors, leaky roofs, hell, no roofs at all, plastic walls, no heaters, rebar and nails sticking out in odd places.  One family I was introduced to, in particular…I walked around their home with a mix of horror, morbid curiosity, and wonderment; how could they live like this? There was one bed for a family of three….in their living room.  A plastic sheet cordoned off the kitchen from the outside. The roof sagged from a constant drip. It felt wet, and cold.

 laughs together, loves together, stays together

But only for a moment.


This family I met was unlike any I’ve ever met before. I didn’t know that family even existed in this sense; the love and warmth they had for each other was palpable. It filled the room. Teenage daughter stood, talking to me, with her dad’s arms wrapped around her, and this look of contentment that I can’t even describe. I can’t remember the last time I hugged my dad, let alone said I love you without a distinctive sense of awkwardness. It made me feel uncomfortable, almost, this closeness this family shared, completely unabashed in their love for one another. This little broken down, hut of a home was the warmest place I’ve ever been.

Meeting them, however, left me exhausted with emotions- unwelcomed emotions. What have I been missing? What is my son missing? You know it’s not just me. Americans have become a spoiled nation, obsessed with our phones, and facebook, and tv, and these little virtual realties that ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, mean nothing.  We are living a countdown, and every single day is another opportunity to cherish and enjoy, and to live. In the here and now. Not through another goddamn status update.  We bitch and complain about the things we don’t have instead of appreciating and being supremely grateful for what we do have, which is FREE.  Each other.

Meeting them was the most humbling experience I’ve ever had.

So. Long story short, we, Americans could learn a lesson from Mexicans. I hope I do.

Coming from America. Oh wait. We are actually still in America.

so this is what my strep looks like,
in case you were wondering.

Sorry for the absence. I’ve been ensconced in the land of the Mexi-can.

Really though,  I got sick with strep the for a week and a half. And now it’s Saturday morning, and I can’t figure out the gas heater, so I’m huddled under the covers (it’s 50 outside right now, and the high today is 70 something, WOE IS ME), with the computer on my lap for warmth. 

But quite a bit happened whilst I was away from internet land. Halloween. A festival at school. A visitor.  El Dia de los Muertos. 

 Caden was stoked that we were having a visitor "from America."  He became overjoyed when I told him that Mexico is actually located in North America. (I dunno. He's five.) I mean eight.

Ya know, when Matt was gearing up to come, he kept asking me what I wanted him to bring with him, and I kept drawing a blank. A month ago, I think I would have had a laundry list of crap, but, methinks -GASP- I’m becoming acclimated to this place. Don’t get me wrong; I devoured some pumpkin spice bagels and am currently sniffing a pumpkin spice candle, but the point is…I stopped fixating on what they don’t have here, and figured out how to enjoy what they do have here. 

his security was awesome

While he was here, he got to experience el Dios de los Muertos with us, which was exceptionally cool. He put on a couple of little concerts for the school to benefit the organization that we support, Free the Girls, and won over some itty bitty fans and a few older ones. Played music on my roof, under the canopy of Mexican moonlight and in general, just had a good time.  Matt mentioned that his perception of Mexico changed after his visit, and although he still worries about us, he understands a little bit more about why one might choose this path. Which, of course, begs the question...who is going to be our next visitor? Jolene, check. Matt, check. Who else is going to step outside their comfort zone? 

rockin out to some twinkle twinkle

MY KIDDOS!

El Dios de los Muertos Celebrations:

altar for Jennie Rivera, a Mexican singer
who died last year in a plane crash

skeleton, hanging out in the church fountain

Caden, tricking and treating with his friends. He is 2nd from the left.

This is an altar the middle school put together.

hot air balloon fire thingy
in the back of a truck,
during the parade.
no big deal.

Durango, by teleferico 

ramble tamble

HOLA! Still here.

I haven’t written much lately, because I’ve basically been doing a whole lot of nothing, so I haven't felt like I've had much to write about. We are settling into a routine. Get up, go to to school, work...get home, eat, homework, showers, read and lights out. Just like anywhere. Some of the newness is starting to wear off. 

part of the routine

Work is also absorbing so much of my time; we haven’t been able to get out and do anything fun yet. Not that I’d know where to go or what to do, if we had the time. Haven't done anything of note lately, but take a few spectacular pictures from the roof.

this isn't an entirely terrible way to wake up on a Saturday morning.

This week is spirit week at the school, so it’s been a bit crazy. Here in Mexico, there isn’t much advance notice when your school day is going to be interrupted with a field trip, or a talk from the director, or principal. Things just happen and you have to just learn to go with the flow, which I’m slowly adapting to. I think things would be smoother if the lines of communication were a little less rusty, but again, I’ve got to adjust and accept that this is the way things are done here. It’s hard for me to just accept. The honeymoon is over, and I want to help fix the problems, but I haven’t found a very warm reception to my offers to help. I have addressed several issues, but I don’t think anything will amount from them. I realize change is a process, but at this rate, I don’t see anything happening.  I heard someone say the other day, be that pesky mosquito. It only takes one mosquito to make a difference; one mosquito in a room can make a person crazy, or in other words, enact change. I feel like I've just become an annoying mosquito. They just want to spray me with bug spray and hope that it paralyzes my mouth for a bit. It's discouraging. Many teachers are very, very disheartened and fed up, but are afraid to address anything for fear of retaliation or losing their jobs. It makes me want to get my certification and put myself in a position to take charge, so that I can create and be part of something truly wonderful. There are so many good teachers in this school. And they aren’t able to reach their full potential because of the lack of resources or the hoops that have to be jumped through to get them. I don’t think anyone should be in charge of a teacher, unless they have been a teacher themselves. For at least 10 years. There is just no way to connect or really understand what it takes, unless you’ve been there yourself. In my opinion, anyway.  

I think I’ve become “that parent” for Caden’s teachers. It’s not a good place to be. It's difficult to maneuver; it’s tricky to be a parent, and a coworker, and I don’t think I’ve handled it well, at all. I was worried…I am worried, that he isn’t being challenged enough. It escalated after a week of him telling me that he just sat and read his Shadow Children series books in his Spanish class, rather than participating in what they were doing.  I addressed the issue (but not through the correct channels; my fault) and had a meeting with the principal. That meeting ended up going really well, though, so we’ll see what happens. There was another issue with his school supplies. His teacher has a policy, (I guess; I was never told) about school supplies. If they are left on the floor, she takes them. Which as a teacher, I totally understand. But she makes them pay to get their supplies back, which I just find absurd. I think that really only punishes the parent and doesn’t teach the child anything about responsibility. I refused to give him money to buy back his eraser, which he left on the floor, and instead had him write sentences. This was after he had a meltdown, trying to do his math homework, and had no eraser. He is related to me. He definitely NEEDS an eraser to do math. He is actually turning the sentences in today; we will see what happens.

My temper has definitely gotten the best of me.  Several times. I need to learn to take a minute, think about things, and breathe…and THEN voice my concerns. Life is a learning experience. And I’m getting a lot of experience right now.

This woman works in a little stand in front of the new school.
She makes fabulous gorditas. Another positive.

I really miss the old campus, and seeing Caden throughout the day. We get home an hour later now, than we did, and that makes our evenings so much shorter. He usually finishes most of his homework after school, in Pearl’s classroom, and then we walk home after I arrive on the bus. He changes out of his uniform and goes outside to play with the neighbor, Ethan, whose parents are also employed at ASD. Our courtyard is enclosed, so it’s very reassuring for me, and I have no qualms about letting him play outside, without me there. The windows are open, and I can hear everything that goes on. They are good playmates, even with the 3 year age difference.

You cannot beat the views from the new school.

preparing for ccr

Sunday marked the end of del Festival Revueltas 450, which was the celebration of Durango’s 450^th birthday. (I think) I knew that because it felt like we were being attacked again. Wasn’t quite as bad as the Independence Day celebration but it was pretty loud. Windows rattled, walls shook. It was a two week long celebration. CCR even came to Durango and put on a concert. I really wanted to go, but I didn’t want to walk alone, at night, to the city center, with Caden, so I just sat on the roof and listened.

not a bad way to listen. I mean, I wasn't down on the corner,
but I got to see the bad moon rising. 

Today is a half day for us, as we are leaving Campus Campestre at noon to go back over to Analco and watch the crowing of the queen. The little kindergardeners have this pageant, and complete against each other for the title of queen. There are giant posters all over the school with the little girl’s faces on them, which I'm assuming their parents paid for. Which I find very ironic, as we just took the students yesterday to see a presentation from Free the Girls, an organization that helps women and children who have been sold into human sex-slave trafficking. Our director has been involved with an organization that has helped rescue human slaves at his last post, and it seems to be something that he is very passionate about. He even mentioned something in his speech about how the media portrays women and how it affects our perception of ourselves, and each other. I may have the students write about the irony of the two events, or at least see if they can identify the irony. Not a fan of beauty pageants. I never consider myself a feminist, but obviously I am.

Tomorrow is no school for the students, but the teachers have a work day. I have to go to immigration and get my fingerprints done, so I may take advantage of the empty classroom, and do that. Speaking of students, I am still absolutely enamored with these kids. They are great little people.

Q&A with the little dude

Me: What are you favorite parts about Mexico, thus far?

Caden: The school, because it’s really cool, and the teachers are good. And all the colors; it’s so colorful here. There are so many.

Me: What was your biggest surprise, moving here?

Caden: That we have electricity and internet. I didn’t expect the fountains or the pretty park across the street, either.

Caden: Can I tell some more favorites?

Me- Sure

Caden: Bean and cheese nachos, and Luis’ house and his huskies.

Me: What or who do you miss the most?

Caden: My dog and my dad, and my cousin (Tanner) and my Mamaw.

Me: What are some new things about Mexico you’ve learned?

Caden: There aren’t tornados here and I’ve learned some Spanish.

Me: What do you dislike?

Caden: Not being able to talk to people. It’s the worst.

Me: What are some of the biggest differences?

Caden: It’s so dry here; my nose is always dry. And everyone walks everywhere. And people romance in public and that’s gross.

Me: Are you having fun?

Caden: 50/50

Me: What’s some advice you have for anyone coming to visit?

Caden: It’s DRY and DUSTY. So just know that. And also, bring short sleeves because it starts out cold, but it ends up hot.

Me:  And lastly, are you still mad at me for making you move to Mexico?

Caden: Yes.

Q&A

I’ve had so many questions thrown my direction, I’m gonna answer a few.

Are you homesick?

Generally speaking, no.  I grew up in a military family, traveling constantly; we never stayed in one place for very long. I’ve lived in too many states to count and spent part of my childhood in Germany. I think, because of this, I’m able to adapt, and I don’t get too attached to people or places. I’ve never experienced true homesickness, I don’t think, in part because I’ve never really been able to call somewhere “home” for too long.  (Culture shock and homesickness are very different animals). I mean, Seattle/ Port Angeles would be the closest to home, for me, and I’ve really only lived there on and off, for about a year (at least during my adult life.) It’s true, at least, at the moment, that I eventually want to settle down in the Seattle area, and go back to school, but you know what they say about plans. (they?)

So, in short, I miss certain conveniences that are easily afforded in the US, (like decent tap water and pedestrian right-of-ways), but I’m not homesick. 

I found these in the international section of Soriana.
Sadly, they had dust on them.

Are you happy with your decision?

My answer to this varies on a day-to-day basis. Some days, I want to pack all my shit up, and head back to the states, but the thing is, is that frustrations are everywhere. I just have to decide which frustrations are worth dealing with, in the grand scheme of things.  I want to travel. I want adventure. I want Caden to experience life outside of the confines of the U.S., and broaden his mind.  Some days, I’m shocked at how overwhelmingly content I feel. It’s like anywhere. Some days are good. Some days are bad. Right now, at this moment, I am happy. Life is slower, here. People look at their phones less. They enjoy each other's company more. It’s nice.

it's like i live in a painting

How are your new students different from your old ones?

There are quite a few differences, and of course, many similarities. After all, kids are kids, right? One of the biggest differences I’ve noticed, is that at this school, education is valued.  More of them like to read.  The girls spend a lot less time in the bathroom, primping and concerned about their looks. They are little more care-free, it seems. They seem younger than the students I taught in Texas; twelve year-olds actually look like twelve year-olds. It’s refreshing. They are willing participants in all things school-related and full of school pride. There are little to no behavior problems in the classroom.  And they are all extremely family-orientated. How are they the same? They love music. They love to watch American tv shows. They are ultimately good kids.

Granted, this school is an expensive, exclusive private school. The school I came from was most definitely not a private school. Does money make all the difference? Based on my observations, I would say it makes quite a bit of a difference.  Hardly fair, but I guess that’s life.

                                                                                     How is Caden, really?

Caden is adjusting well. He is very resilient,  and generally, a happy kid, although he definitely has his moments, where he misses his dog and sleepovers with Mama and Tanner.  Other than being overly dramatic at times, he is fine. It's been just the two of us for most of his life, so as far as our day-to-day life goes, not a whole lot has changed for him, other than location. We've never lived super close to our family, and even when we were only an hour away, I was still a single-mom, and a teacher, so our lives really revolved around each other, for the most part.  (I interviewed him for the blog and will post his q&a session later.)

What/Who do you miss the most?

Hellman’s mayonnaise, Sadie and the ability to go to the grocery store
without having an anxiety attack.

Am I on a movie set?

 I know I moan and complain about my 'misfortunes', aka, 

first world problems in a third world country, but sometimes, 

I feel like I'm in the middle of something truly wonderful.

I'm running out of titles.

Last Monday was our first day at the new campus. We had an opening ceremony that involved balloons, a priest, and parents. I couldn't take pictures though, because I was in charge of my kiddos, and I was holding onto a bunch of balloons that I was terrified would float away if I tried to take any. Funny side note- my principal, who is about my age,  is obsessed with birds. He goes bird watching. He takes students bird watching. He stopped in the middle of his speech because he got side tracked by some hawk, or humming bird, something ... could've been a bat, off in the distance, and directed everyone's attention to it. It was quite comical.

There are lots of pros and cons with the new campus, and kinks that need to be worked out. (No copier/ printer or library, what?!?) But I mean, the building is pretty and more modern, I guess. I don't know. I prefer the old campus.


We did get lots of goodies last week, besides our new roommates. The books I ordered from www.betterworldbooks.com came in, and it was like Christmas in my classroom. My brother, Chris (the one in Afghanistan) also sent us the Beautiful Creature series. One kiddo, Hector, was overjoyed. He hugged me and said my brother was the best. I'm not saying I agreed with him, but I didn't disagree, either.

Thanks, Grandma!

My best friend, Cindy, also sent us a box of goodies. I can't divulge all the contents of that box because...well, she has a sense of humor like mine. I should have foreseen that and NOT opened the box in front of children, but I managed to cover up what needed covering. She absolutely made my week.  Especially with the house shoes. No more grocery- store feet for me.

Randi, my friend who sent the kitchen ware, also sent Caden the rest of the Shadow Children series, and he was beyond excited. The book nerd in me turned all warm and fuzzy, watching him curl up with his new books at bedtime. Grandma Donna also sent Caden some toys, so he definitely had a good week.

spices from cindy. for the cooking in my closet kitchen

that's what she said

The weekend was fairly uneventful. Caden went home with Luis again on Friday night. Those two are quickly becoming inseparable. It's nice to see Caden overcoming his reservations and blossoming in his new friendship. Definitely makes me have better days. There were, as always, festivities going on downtown. I think the city is celebrating it's 450^th birthday, and we wandered around downtown, through a little market. Saw a lot of my roommate's cousins.

Some Indians. No big deal.  Thought I was all ninja-like, taking
 this picture, until I zoomed in and saw them staring at me.

This week is flying by. It's the end of the bimester so we have tests, and grades are also due. As a teacher, I always despise this week, but it's a necessary evil. I have to create my tests this afternoon and run to get copies made tonight before the copy shop closes. Times like these, it would be beneficial for me NOT to procrastinate.